"So you're basically leaking."
"What? No. I'm bleeding."
"Which means you're leaking blood."
"OUT OF A BULLET HOLE!"
"Yes, yes, the blood--normally contained within your body, a mostly-sealed unit, is now leaking out of a hole in that unit."
"Because I was shot!"
"Because you were shot. You're leaking."
"You asshole."
"Hey, man, I'm not the one who refuses to acknowledge--"
"You colossal asshole! You total fuckup! This is why I wanted to take an ambulance, this is why--"
"--and here I'm letting you leak all over the leather in my new car, all because you--"
"I'M NOT LEAKING!"
At that moment, the engine died.
"Uh."
"You king of douchebags."
"I bet it's the alternator. There's been some bleeding in the engine, and--"
"Oh, so the engine bleeds?!"
"It's a mechanical term!"
"IT'S A BIOLOGICAL TERM!"
"We have to walk."
"I've been shot! In the chest!"
"Your shoulder."
"I'm not walking!"
"Well, clearly, you're just sitting there bleeding. The hospital's like a block away, you didn't get shot in the legs, come on."
"Emperor of assholery..."
"Lean on me. We'll be there in a second, god, don't--leak on my suit, would you?"
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1 comment:
This is why guys have more fun, we're assholes to our friends.
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